Presented in stunning 2-D!

The Cat

The CatQuite possibly the neediest and loudest mammal in existence, The Cat began life as a quiet little homeless runt. When The Wife and I returned from our honeymoon, The Cat and her two siblings had taken up residence outside our first apartment. We couldn’t take in all three and the other two seemed to ignore the little one, so we took her polydactyl brother and sister to the local SPCA and kept The Cat for ourselves.

How has she rewarded us for this act of kindness and compassion? By annoying the hell out of us ever since. The Cat apparently thinks she needs continuous attention and isn’t quiet about it unless she’s sitting in one of our laps or sleeping on top of one of us. This constant, vocal need for loving seems only be getting worse with age.

On the plus side though, she:

  • is the most passive cat in existence and therefore great with kids
  • put up with a lot of moving around during the early years of our marriage
  • does honestly love us and has become a member of the family
  • doesn’t claw or bite
  • exhales carbon dioxide, which plants need to live

Ever the weirdo, The Cat turns her nose up at traditional feline delicacies and instead prefers apples, olives and french fries.

Leave a Comment