At long last, a recap of our epic San Antonio trip

I’m not exactly sure how many times I’ve been to San Antonio, but I know it’s more than a few. I always have a good time there, even though we generally don’t have a plan (I’m usually big on having a plan) and it’s always about four billion degrees there.

The Wife and I had an opportunity to slip away for the weekend and figured we should take advantage of it. So we did. Apparently it took more out of me than I had realized, because I’ve been falling asleep on the couch every night this week instead of writing about our trip.

When The Wife and I travel, we prefer to stay in older, unique hotels as opposed to one of the chain places that can be found anywhere. Really, what’s the fun of staying somewhere if you could have the exact same experience at any town in the Western Hemisphere? No, hotels with a local flavor are definitely our speed.

This time we stayed at the 99-year old St. Anthony Hotel. It was a bit dated in places (and had weird intermittent cable TV service), but they were in the middle of remodeling some of the rooms (including most of our floor), so I think it’ll be looking pretty grand by the time they throw their centennial bash next year. The common areas downstairs were still looking pretty good and the whole place just exuded a quiet but undeniable history. Good stuff.

As an added bonus, the hotel was within easy walking distance of the River Walk. I’m always amazed how you can save literally hundreds of dollars on your hotel stay if you’re willing walk a few hundred yards.

Our trip was confined mostly to walking around the River Walk and eating at some new places. I always find it hard to be in San Antonio and not eat Tex-Mex for every meal, but we did manage to mix in a lunch at some random burger place along the river. We both agreed, however, that the food there was decidedly uninspiring, so we stuck to the usual enchiladas, fajitas and margaritas for the remainder of the trip.

For those of you who haven’t been, the River Walk is fantastic, but it’s also a little on the extremely crowded side. There’s not a whole lot of space between the restaurants and the river, and that small amount of pedestrian walkway is minimized even further by tables lining the banks of the river. Add in thousands of tourists who are gawking at everything around them and it’s generally one big pedestrian traffic jam.

While we were in San Antonio, I came to the conclusion that senior citizens should not be given cell phones. Especially if they’re walking along the River Walk. And not sure where they’re going. And they’re using their cell phone to call someone who has never been to San Antonio for directions. And arguing with their husbands about whether they should just stop at every restaurant they walk past. And talking to their other senior friends about the humidity. And randomly stopping in the middle of the very small walkway to accomplish all of these feats. I swear, all weekend long, traffic came to a screeching halt every few minutes because of someone just deciding to stop in the middle of the sidewalk for no apparent reason.

At least most of these people were dressed very badly and The Wife and I could make fun of them. No matter what the inconvenience is, a little snarkiness makes everything better.

An unexpected find

I’ve always found the Rivercenter Mall is be a little on the disappointing side. It’s really just a regular mall slapped on to the end of the River Walk. I don’t know exactly what I’m expecting – maybe oompa loompas or something – but something is definitely missing.

This time, though, The Wife and I stumbled upon something both unexpected and wonderful – the mall’s Dillard’s was going out of business and they were in the process of liquidating everything in the store. On the bottom floor, they still had some actual merchandise – namely the ugliest assortment of clothes I’ve ever seen in my entire life. The Wife spent an hour down there trying to find some great deals, but the real attraction was upstairs.

Up on the second floor, they were selling all of the fixtures. Miles upon miles of racks, shelves, display stands and display cases. As we walked around the eerily empty store, it was kind of like being the last people on Earth.

Then I saw this. It was just so ludicrous, I couldn’t help but laugh. I tried to get The Wife to give me $15 so I could get one, but she refused. She made some lame excuse about not wanting to have to haul a plastic derrière down the River Walk and back to our hotel. I know it’s really just because she’s a lame old grump.

Also found at the Rivercenter Mall: this awesomely random flag. I tried to get The Wife to buy one and hang it in her office cubicle, but once again she declined. She’s really just no fun at all.

Non-river fun

Like I said, we stuck mostly around the River Walk area, but we did wander out and about Saturday morning to some other parts of town. The Wife hadn’t seen The Dark Knight yet, so we moseyed on over to a theater where it was showing in IMAX. The theater was super nice but I didn’t understand the whole Greek theme they had going on. It’s almost like the father from My Big Fat Greek Wedding was the architect. Dark Knight was just as excellent the second time around for me.

After that, we headed over to a seedy looking strip center to accomplish The Wife’s real goal for the weekend: finally getting her tattoo.

The Wife has been wanting one for quite a while now and, despite my attempts to talk some reason into her, she managed me to wear me down to the point where I could no longer think of any more reasons for her not to get one. I still think she’ll regret fifty years from now when she’s got wrinkly old lady skin, but whatever. The Wife tends to live in the moment.

She did well during the tattooing process, although she admitted afterwards that it was fairly painful. $50 and ten minutes later, she had her ink. And I was free from her constant badgering about getting one. It was a win-win situation for everyone.

On the way home, we stopped at the outlet center in San Marcos and purchased some work clothes to replenish our closets. Well, I say “our” closets. If I recall correctly, I got about four shirts and The Wife picked up several tons of clothing and accessories. She hasn’t told me the exact total we spent shopping, but I’m sure it was somewhere in the low millions.

Then we headed home. That’s what passes for a wild and crazy weekend these days. If you haven’t fallen asleep yet, you can see all the pictures here.