The hair up there
If you paid attention to the picture in my last post, you may have noticed that I’m sporting the beginnings of a beard. It’s not really thick enough to be called a beard, but you know, I have to call it something.
I’ve always been a lazy shaver, but I stopped shaving completely about three weeks ago. With the oppressive steamy heat of summer and lots of afternoons of yard work right around the bend, I figured now was the perfect time to add more hair.
The whole thing was actually The Wife’s idea. She’s been bugging me to grow a goatee since we started dating back in the 20th century. I haven’t been too eager to do so because I know that the area connecting my mustache and beard (integral to any successful goatee) isn’t very thick, plus I have some other spots where the whiskers are blond and aren’t readily visible. Long story short, when I try to grow it out, it looks like crap.
But like I said, The Wife has been bugging me about it for years now, so I decided to indulge her. I figured she’d see after a couple of weeks that I’m not capable of growing anything beyond hoboesque stubble and make me shave it all off. Apparently I was wrong.
As you can see in the aforementioned picture, I have not actually pruned my quasi-beard into a goatee. This has caused some strife in our household, as The Wife feels that I’ve not honored the original terms of our verbal agreement, but I’ve decided that I’m enjoying the total vacation from shaving. Why would I want to worry about trimming and maintaining a nicely defined patch of hair when I just let it go and mow it when it gets out of control? I guess I’m just more of a Grizzly Adams kind of guy.
Non-hair raising issues
- Remember those uncomfortable vests you made out of paper bags in your early days? (I believe at the time they were called Indian vests, but I don’t think that’s p.c. anymore.) The Boy made a very colorful one at school today.
- IKEA’s use of pictograms to avoid language barriers in their printed materials can lead to a small art exhibit when they try to place warnings on candle labels.
- The Girl had some fun with her tummy time this evening. While I was playing around with the camera, I suddenly remembered that it could shoot video as well, so I created the short video below. It’s pretty boring really, but it’s a start.
I may need to teach your wife the value of a written contract. I had my husband sign a written contract when we bought the truck. It has saved me $1000s in “upgrades.”
I also try and make my verbal deals catchy. “This phone is an extension of your penis. You would not throw your penis, you would not step on your penis, you would not lose you penis.” Again, saved me $1000s over the years, because I can say “Would you do that to your penis?” I’m not sure how she can twist that into the whole goatee thing, but it’s a good skill to have anyway.
The Wife is too afraid of my snappy comebacks to try anything like that.